Thursday, October 16, 2008

The day I pushed Dad too far!

In honor of my Dads 79th birthday on the 17th, I thought I would feature him on by blog. What a gift, eh? Happy birthday Dad!

My father was slow to anger, but if you made him mad, watch out! His face would turn red and the look in his eyes could burn a hole in you. That look was usually all it took to guarantee instant obedience from us kids. Once in a while, with my older brothers, words that are not appropriate for my blog would spew from his mouth. He rarely punished us physically, but one day I pushed him to his limit.

It was a lovely Saturday afternoon. The entire family was cleaning in the grove of trees north of our house. I was only five years old, but I helped by picking up small branches and carrying them to the burning pile. On one such trip to the pile I noticed an old metal rake head discarded in the tall grass. I picked it up but didn't know what to do with it. I knew it didn't belong on the burn pile. At about that time I realized I had to go to the bathroom.....I had to go bad. I spun around like a discus thrower a couple of times to build momentum, then let the heavy metal rake head fly! I didn't wait to see where it landed, but turned and ran towards the house to use the bathroom.

I heard my brother Rick cry out, but thought nothing of it. Probably just my oldest brother Don clubbing him in the head with a log or something. He he he, Don was always doing fun stuff like that to Rick! As I ran by, my Dad grabbed me and swung me up off the ground and high above his head. "Sonofabitch!", he always yelled it really fast like that and kept his lips pinched tight to his teeth, "Why did you do that?!"

I had been cheerfully running to the bathroom, the next thing I knew, I was seven feet in the air getting yelled at by an extremely angry man! I was so shocked and scared that I lost complete control of my full bladder! I can still distinctly remember watching the pee stream from the right inseam of my little red denim shorts down onto my Dad's head!

He put me down in a hurry! I don't remember much after that. I was told the rake head stuck into my brother Rick's shoulder. The big baby, letting a little five year old girl make him cry! He doesn't even have a scar, didn't need stitches either! While I have been mentally scarred for life!

I hope you never had to go through the trauma of having the pee scared out of you. But, if you have, please contact me. Maybe we could start a support group. "Hi, my name is Lisa, I'm 43 and I peed on my Dad's bald head."


Sister C said...

Guess that answers the question if pee makes hair grow. Happy 79th birthday dad!!

Anonymous said...

I'm Cindy, I once peed my pants when my coach yelled at me in volleyball practice. I need to rid myself of scarring. Where is our first meeting and where? May I suggest Piedmont, CA. and for entertainment can we please have Peedi Crakk the rapper. If he can't work us into his schedule, how about Pee Wee Herman and then a finale peep show. Some suggested topics could include.... kegal exercises for more pee control, how to survive after peeing ones self in public. Any other suggestions anyone?? I know poor Slug-A-Bed and I are not alone!

Sister c's daughter said...

Haha.. That is great! I have never heard all your funny stories from childhood.. Any good one on Sister C?

My story on peeing my pants goes like this: I was in about 2nd grade and had to walk our quarter-of-a-mile long driveway for the bus to pick me up in the morning. Well, I got to the end and really had to go pee. I could not walk back to the house either or I would miss the bus, which trouble and that is Not GOOD! I tried to hold it but couldn't and sat through a whole bus route with pee on me. Plus a girl sat next to me part of the ride.. I finally got to my teacher and started crying. Add me to the scarred group :)

Slug-A-Bed said...

Welcome, Cindy and C's Daughter, welcome to the group. You are among friends here.

I am glad you felt comfortable enough to share your pants-peeing stories with me. Cindy, I want to admonish you for making me laugh so very hard. We musn't cause others to wet their pants and become as scarred as we are! You must be very careful with your wicked sense of humor. Hee hee hee.