In honor of my Dads 79th birthday on the 17th, I thought I would feature him on by blog. What a gift, eh? Happy birthday Dad!
My father was slow to anger, but if you made him mad, watch out! His face would turn red and the look in his eyes could burn a hole in you. That look was usually all it took to guarantee instant obedience from us kids. Once in a while, with my older brothers, words that are not appropriate for my blog would spew from his mouth. He rarely punished us physically, but one day I pushed him to his limit.
It was a lovely Saturday afternoon. The entire family was cleaning in the grove of trees north of our house. I was only five years old, but I helped by picking up small branches and carrying them to the burning pile. On one such trip to the pile I noticed an old metal rake head discarded in the tall grass. I picked it up but didn't know what to do with it. I knew it didn't belong on the burn pile. At about that time I realized I had to go to the bathroom.....I had to go bad. I spun around like a discus thrower a couple of times to build momentum, then let the heavy metal rake head fly! I didn't wait to see where it landed, but turned and ran towards the house to use the bathroom.
I heard my brother Rick cry out, but thought nothing of it. Probably just my oldest brother Don clubbing him in the head with a log or something. He he he, Don was always doing fun stuff like that to Rick! As I ran by, my Dad grabbed me and swung me up off the ground and high above his head. "Sonofabitch!", he always yelled it really fast like that and kept his lips pinched tight to his teeth, "Why did you do that?!"
I had been cheerfully running to the bathroom, the next thing I knew, I was seven feet in the air getting yelled at by an extremely angry man! I was so shocked and scared that I lost complete control of my full bladder! I can still distinctly remember watching the pee stream from the right inseam of my little red denim shorts down onto my Dad's head!
He put me down in a hurry! I don't remember much after that. I was told the rake head stuck into my brother Rick's shoulder. The big baby, letting a little five year old girl make him cry! He doesn't even have a scar, didn't need stitches either! While I have been mentally scarred for life!
I hope you never had to go through the trauma of having the pee scared out of you. But, if you have, please contact me. Maybe we could start a support group. "Hi, my name is Lisa, I'm 43 and I peed on my Dad's bald head."