Is feeding an unsuspecting person a dead worm better than feeding them a live worm? Probably depends on the level of decomposition. Anyway, I fed my mother-in-law a dead worm.
We were to gather with The Big Guys extended family, probably around 30 people. I was asked to bring a cauliflower cheese soup to this 'soup and rolls' dinner. I merrily went about preparing it, using only the freshest vegetables. I was trying to impress the new MIL, who is an excellent cook..... and housekeeper....... and wife....... and shopper...... and gift giver..... and friend..... and... and.. and.
It's not pleasant to be a distant, very distant second in comparisons. If you are an unmarried young lady I give you this advice: Marry a man whose mother is a slovenly harridan. You will be golden in your husbands eyes forever. Seriously now, you probably don't want your future children to have a slovenly harridan for a grandmother. Don't take advice from me, we'll all be better off.
So I presented my carefully prepared soup to the group. MIL chose my soup over many other possibles, Grandpa G. (family patriarch) told me my soup was good! I was glowing inside! All was right in my little world.
Then, after she took a bite of my soup, to my everlasting horror, I saw my MIL delicately pull a small white worm from her mouth! Her eyes met mine, she calmly put the worm in her napkin and finished the bowl! She finished the bowl!
I was in shock, horrified and so very grateful she hadn't spit the worm out onto the center of the table while screaming that her daughter-in-law was a freaking idiot loser.
What happened next will live on in my mind as the moment, the moment when I knew that she liked me, she really, really liked me. She went and got another small portion of my worm infested soup! She ate it while making pleasant conversation with the people around her! Meanwhile, I did what I always do in times of pain, and in times of happiness, times of boredom, times of playfulness, times of peace, times of war. I ate. My hands were shaking, but I still managed to eat a delicious cinnamon roll prepared to perfection by my MIL.
Who knew that a little worm (probably hiding in the cauliflower that I had carefully washed), would create this bond with my MIL. Thanks little worm, in a strange twisted way you made my world a better place. After re-living this trauma, I think I'll go get some ice cream.
Walter Drummond by Ree
3 days ago